It's true. While I may have been christened WW back at my former place of employment, I can't do everything all at once. I've tried...again. And again, well, I've failed. But! I quit while I was ahead, and life is good :-) [side note: lifting heavy boxes of paper and stuff is no where near as difficult as lifting heavy people who want to bite you]
As further explanation of my current situation, I am no longer enrolled in the nursing program that I fought tooth and nail to get into less than a year ago. When I started in the fall with all sorts of administrative hoops and other idiocy, I had an inkling that this wasn't going to work, but I gave it a shot anyway. This semester, with more credits than I've EVER taken (except for that one time back in my freshman year when I tried 21...) and a full time job on the night shift, I basically died. Not literally, mind you. In fact, I've been doing better as far as life in general goes. Academically, however, life was going less than great. I completely forgot a paper that was due, fell behind by about two week's worth of assignments in an online class and finally ended up postponing an exam until the end of the semester. I never forget papers. Ever. While online classes are easy targets for procrastination, the point I was reaching was unacceptable. And postponing exams is very near the top of "things I REALLY do not like to do." All of the stuff that I had to do would render me incapable of logical thought. I would literally log in, look at my classes and freeze.
"I should study Pharmacology for tomorrow"
"But I NEED to study micro"
"Oh gosh, that stupid paper was supposed to be submitted three days ago"
"It's 4 in the morning. Why am I up?"
"Dratit, I need to read that other thing, too . . . ."
My brain can be a pretty crazy place sometimes - and thank you for the concern, but all of those thoughts were not voices and I'm not seeing things or having suicidal ideation.
After a great deal of consideration, consultation and a rather healthy dose of prayer, I decided to drop two classes. That places me at 10 credits for the semester, and I fully intend to pull a 4.0 on them. I do not believe that education should come at the cost of my life. I love everything I'm involved in right now - my job [well, you know, most of the time], rescue squad, my INCREDIBLE friends and family... and school is just another thing to add to the list. It's important, sure, but it doesn't trump anything else - except for maybe work...and work involves income, so that's not really possible for me right now.
It might take me until I'm 80 to graduate, but at least I'll have lived along the way.
No comments:
Post a Comment