of absolute insanity.
In the words of my native land: Uff da.
Yesterday I got up and went running in the morning, which somehow gave me tons of energy for all of Monday -- enough to get through an insanely boring lecture and then go shopping afterwards.
Today, I slept in and felt like I was going to fall asleep at my desk every time I sat down.
Anyway, while boxing graduation supplies and other various bookish supplies that the Publications Department handles, I got a phone call. I went inside to speak with the background investigator handling my friend's application for work in the intelligence field. While speaking with said investigator, the chain on my bullet broke. It was rather sudden, and I didn't have opportunity to display sadness. Because the chain is now so short, it's hanging from the rearview mirror of my car.
After the investigative discussion, I returned to the trailer and continued sorting emails and boxing packages and hauling packages to the mailroom and making an overall mess of my work space. There were a lot of orders and many items to restock, meaning many empty boxes. They started adding up after a while.
And I was still tired, so I took lunch break to go retrieve caffeine.
It didn't really help.
But I kept working. And people came out to be trained and package things and the pile of boxes got bigger.
And then there was this whole thing about being set up on a blind date, and the conversation I had with my mother as a result, which involved being informed that I must have inherited my lips from my dad. . . .
Now I'm sitting in a chair at home, waiting for the internet to come back on so that I can finish a conversation with a friend and post this ridiculously disjointed blog post. Katie's making bread, because she's amazing that way, and I'm going running in the morning with the hope that it will give me energy to get through the day. Energy is going to be in high demand, because I have to finagle my way into an entrance exam with the community college and then go to EMT class... There's lots of stuff to study these days, and now I have a job interview at the hospital on top of it.
Good grief, God, I need sleep.
Interestingly enough, I was thinking about Him today and realizing that I've been tending toward going through the motions of relationship rather than just . . .living it . . . recently. He's working me out of it, thankfully, but I hate that it's so easy to get back into that formulaic mentality.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Sitting at the Station
And the whole addiction to coffee that the rest of the world seems to have finally begins to make sense. My body is getting more and more accustomed to being up early, but the whole being awake part? Not so much. Caffeine is an amazing thing, but I really hope to keep ingestion of it to a minimum.
There have been a variety of thoughts running through my head over the past couple of weeks. A whirlwind trip up north got me thinking more about family relationships and how much things change over time. It's so weird to realize that it's been almost 2 years since Daddy died. A year ago it seemed like yesterday. Now it seems like another life.
We've entered the medical portion of EMT class. Lectures on the differences between administering and assisting with medications and what our protocols allow us to do abound. As do skills sessions in which the evaluator attempts to confuse me . . . and succeeds. Note to self: even if the station is named "medical" and the entire focal point of class for the past week has been medical scenarios, consider the possibility that your patient may be a trauma case. :-P
There's a potential job opening in a local hospital that will pay for nurse's training in addition to a regular pay check. God never ceases to amaze me with how He just provides for needs at the right time. There are times when I feel as though there's almost an excess, and times when it seems as though there's no way anything will work, but when it comes down to it, everything is taken care of.
Kinda crazy. We'll see what happens over the next couple of weeks. Between placement exams, application exams, ER rotations and class, I'm not sure how much time I'll really have to think about what's going on. But I know that it will be good :-)
There have been a variety of thoughts running through my head over the past couple of weeks. A whirlwind trip up north got me thinking more about family relationships and how much things change over time. It's so weird to realize that it's been almost 2 years since Daddy died. A year ago it seemed like yesterday. Now it seems like another life.
We've entered the medical portion of EMT class. Lectures on the differences between administering and assisting with medications and what our protocols allow us to do abound. As do skills sessions in which the evaluator attempts to confuse me . . . and succeeds. Note to self: even if the station is named "medical" and the entire focal point of class for the past week has been medical scenarios, consider the possibility that your patient may be a trauma case. :-P
There's a potential job opening in a local hospital that will pay for nurse's training in addition to a regular pay check. God never ceases to amaze me with how He just provides for needs at the right time. There are times when I feel as though there's almost an excess, and times when it seems as though there's no way anything will work, but when it comes down to it, everything is taken care of.
Kinda crazy. We'll see what happens over the next couple of weeks. Between placement exams, application exams, ER rotations and class, I'm not sure how much time I'll really have to think about what's going on. But I know that it will be good :-)
Friday, April 11, 2008
"I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead . . ."
~Lifehouse, "Broken"
It's too late for me to be awake and typing coherent thought. I got up and ran at 5AM today and just confirmed that I will be getting up and running at 6AM tomorrow. This song is good...Nat and I make good non-bakey pies...and now I have cool sneakers that were FREE.
That's all. :-P
~Lifehouse, "Broken"
It's too late for me to be awake and typing coherent thought. I got up and ran at 5AM today and just confirmed that I will be getting up and running at 6AM tomorrow. This song is good...Nat and I make good non-bakey pies...and now I have cool sneakers that were FREE.
That's all. :-P
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Insomnia
I cannot get myself to sleep. Today started before 5 AM and my body will not just SLEEP. What is wrong with me??
Maybe there's just too much in my head to get out. Ok, fine, here's what's in my head*:
EMT class is amazing. I want to do medically related work all the time. I love it. For years, I swore off the complete dedication bordering on addiction that results in having no life, and it's finally to a point where that doesn't matter any more. This stuff is AWESOME! As incredible as the level of excitement I have is . . .heh, it's not like we're actually doing anything all too wonderfully thrilling. We just went over patient assessment some more this evening, as well as a couple of specific skill sets - MAST pants and special soft tissue injuries (yay for making donut rolls out of cling! do you know which types of wounds require a moist dressing? :-P) I'm getting to know some people in my class, and one of my classmates asked me to cover for her later this month while she's gone on a business trip. Hopefully that works out, because getting some time in at different - and busier - stations would be great.
Of course, all of this comes at a cost. I don't know what is happening with my life at all right now. Hopefully I'll go to NOVA and get into the nursing program, and I really believe that'll be the smartest thing to do, long term. But at the same time? Man, I'd really just like to get into Recruit school and do Fire/Rescue (ok, so mostly just Rescue...) for the rest of however long. Part of this probably stems from being less than thrilled with my current job. No discredit to my employer is meant by this, it's just the way it is. I've had the same job for almost 4 years, and there's really nothing there to challenge me anymore . . .aside from being steadfast and patient and other good things. Which are all . . .good things. So yeah, I'm not complaining, just...yearning for further mental stimulation.
It's annoying to need to have a job that pays money. Honestly, if it weren't for my car...or the fact that I need to pay rent...or that whole insurance thing...or tuition...life would be a lot simpler.
And then there's the whole guy thing. Which really isn't all too confusing, I guess. At least, I don't THINK it is. And so, I should just not think about it, until further interaction proves me wrong, which I don't think it will. Bleh. Whatever. I just don't like feeling potentially confused.
All of this, of course, is further confused by this stupid sinus infection. I HATE my sinuses! Ok, so not really, but seriously. Every time I get truly horribly sick? It's a sinus infection. I'm on antibiotics for the first time since highschool and they're making me sick to my stomach. Yeah, so the whole pressure in my head thing is decreasing, but does it really have to occur in such a way that makes me think food must be the invention of Satan?
God's been teaching me an awful lot about love and trust lately. Of course, I always say that. Those are sort of the themes of life, as far as I can tell. But when you think about what it means to truly love those around us, it's rather intimidating. When God says everyone, He means just that. Sometimes, I can convince myself that I'm getting better at that, but when I step back and really look at the situation, it's pretty obvious that I'm not. In some ways, there has been significant growth -- I'm a lot more accepting of people being who they are and not expecting them to meet a certain set of guidelines for acceptableness as a human being. Having said that, however, actually presenting the truth and reality of my relationship with God in such a way that opens doors for further dialogue is something that needs some serious work. *sigh*
And I have amazing friends. That's enough for now. :-P
*to be taken with a grain of salt . . .or several grains. it's after midnight, after all
Maybe there's just too much in my head to get out. Ok, fine, here's what's in my head*:
EMT class is amazing. I want to do medically related work all the time. I love it. For years, I swore off the complete dedication bordering on addiction that results in having no life, and it's finally to a point where that doesn't matter any more. This stuff is AWESOME! As incredible as the level of excitement I have is . . .heh, it's not like we're actually doing anything all too wonderfully thrilling. We just went over patient assessment some more this evening, as well as a couple of specific skill sets - MAST pants and special soft tissue injuries (yay for making donut rolls out of cling! do you know which types of wounds require a moist dressing? :-P) I'm getting to know some people in my class, and one of my classmates asked me to cover for her later this month while she's gone on a business trip. Hopefully that works out, because getting some time in at different - and busier - stations would be great.
Of course, all of this comes at a cost. I don't know what is happening with my life at all right now. Hopefully I'll go to NOVA and get into the nursing program, and I really believe that'll be the smartest thing to do, long term. But at the same time? Man, I'd really just like to get into Recruit school and do Fire/Rescue (ok, so mostly just Rescue...) for the rest of however long. Part of this probably stems from being less than thrilled with my current job. No discredit to my employer is meant by this, it's just the way it is. I've had the same job for almost 4 years, and there's really nothing there to challenge me anymore . . .aside from being steadfast and patient and other good things. Which are all . . .good things. So yeah, I'm not complaining, just...yearning for further mental stimulation.
It's annoying to need to have a job that pays money. Honestly, if it weren't for my car...or the fact that I need to pay rent...or that whole insurance thing...or tuition...life would be a lot simpler.
And then there's the whole guy thing. Which really isn't all too confusing, I guess. At least, I don't THINK it is. And so, I should just not think about it, until further interaction proves me wrong, which I don't think it will. Bleh. Whatever. I just don't like feeling potentially confused.
All of this, of course, is further confused by this stupid sinus infection. I HATE my sinuses! Ok, so not really, but seriously. Every time I get truly horribly sick? It's a sinus infection. I'm on antibiotics for the first time since highschool and they're making me sick to my stomach. Yeah, so the whole pressure in my head thing is decreasing, but does it really have to occur in such a way that makes me think food must be the invention of Satan?
God's been teaching me an awful lot about love and trust lately. Of course, I always say that. Those are sort of the themes of life, as far as I can tell. But when you think about what it means to truly love those around us, it's rather intimidating. When God says everyone, He means just that. Sometimes, I can convince myself that I'm getting better at that, but when I step back and really look at the situation, it's pretty obvious that I'm not. In some ways, there has been significant growth -- I'm a lot more accepting of people being who they are and not expecting them to meet a certain set of guidelines for acceptableness as a human being. Having said that, however, actually presenting the truth and reality of my relationship with God in such a way that opens doors for further dialogue is something that needs some serious work. *sigh*
And I have amazing friends. That's enough for now. :-P
*to be taken with a grain of salt . . .or several grains. it's after midnight, after all
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