Tonight, I am tired. I am tired of missing Dad and tired of fighting with Mom. I am tired of struggling to do the right thing; tired of wondering what the right thing is. Tired of seeing people's fear and pride rule them; even more tired of my own. Tired of not being truly happy for more than a few moments until I remember. Tired of getting mad at myself for remembering. Tired of trying to forget.
I would say that I'm tired of seeking God, but I don't think that's quite it. I'm tired of the fact that it's such a struggle to seek Him. I'm tired of trying. Tired of pleasing. Tired of politically correct. Tired of being slightly unconventional for unconventiality's sake. Tired of expectations and the lack of them. Tired of whining.
I'm tired of me. My selfishness and the rut I seem to exist in.
I'm tired of thinking. And I'm tired of trying to explain it.
