just tired.

Something's gotta give.

That something always ends up being my immune system.

I didn't run a single shift of rescue throughout all of September.

I made great grades in September.

I didn't get sick in September.

I went to church more often in September.

I could kinda feel hope starting to grow again in September.

Now we're a week away from the end of October, I've picked up rescue again and loved it, made ok grades (though we'll see on Thursday if that's truly the case), gotten sick for a full week, missed church every Sunday and feel as though I'm just faking life, let alone hoping for anything other than a pillow and maybe a spontaneous show of generosity from my bosses in the form of a massive raise.

Yeah. Something's gotta give.

And I don't mean my immune system.

in the bano

Things to add to my list of life experiences: being hugged by a patient in the bathroom.

I had just walked with her to help make sure she was ok and explain the whole clean catch urine process. That was it. I felt for her, to be sure - teary eyed and essentially friendless in a country not her own, the victim of what was probably drug induced violent assault - her story was awful. But her quivering hands stretched out over my shoulders after I encouraged her to "respire, por favor...uno, dos, tres...." in my pitiful attempt at Spanish nearly broke me down.

Truth be told, it was a fairly slow night at work. No big traumas, no strokes caught in the nick of time, just a lot of abdominal pain, some drug seekers and a few interesting mild injuries. I have no idea how that woman's story goes from here. I hope it gets worlds better and that she's reunited with her family and people who genuinely care for her. And I hope that I never lose the fact that she - and every other patient - matters.