Dropping Out

Withdrawing. Retreating. I prefer to think of it as advancing to a more strategic location.

It's amazing how something that evokes an initial reaction of disappointment or chagrin can actually be good.

Over the past couple of weeks I've learned the reality of steps determined by God as opposed to the ones planned by me. Yesterday, I withdrew from Regent University, and I don't regret it one bit. When I think back on my time with them, it becomes rather obvious that I was grasping for security in the here and now and my own understanding, rather than trusting that God did indeed have the master plan.

It takes me a while to learn these things. PHC was the same way at times.

Anyway, I'm no longer a student, and by all initial external appearances, there's nowhere for me to go.

But that's not the reality of it.

Never before in my life have I really felt as though I'm living confidently in faith. Sure, I've had moments of clarity, but these past few days have just been SO amazing! I want to write down every moment and capture it to look back on someday when it doesn't seem really possible, but in order to live it out, I can't stop and reflect for as long as that would take.

As sudden and seemingly random as all of the changes in my life as of late seem to be, I should be freaking out. But I'm not. At all. In a way, dropping out of school is kinda like an eaglet getting dropped out of nest . . . and discovering what it means to fly.

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. ~Hebrews 4:16


[nursing school, here i come!]