today, well, yesterday, i was faced with two friends going through similar situations. neither of them live close enough for me to chat over a cup of coffee or something else warm and comforting, and that makes me sad. the other thing making me sad (aside from the fact that my smart phone apparently doesn't allow for capitalization of letters while blogging...) was the fact that i couldn't get myself to verbalize what i *really* thought. i said what i should have said, at least to one of them, but i couldn't say what i've wanted to say for a long time. why? why is it so hard for me to tell somebody the whispers of the quietest sort in my heart?
i'd like to think that it's because they're just silly thoughts i have complimentary of my commitaphobe tendencies, but i'm pretty sure it's more due to the fact that, while i'm doing well with my busy life, i am not yet fully alive.
but i want to be. and when i am, i want the courage to whisper out loud.
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