Ball and Chain...

...Forever.

That's how my brother expressed his sentiments to my chatter about the incessantness of wedding plans.

While I've laughed off the "ball and chain" quote before, and still believe it's not the reality of marriage, I found myself agreeing with him to an extent. It's something I simply cannot comprehend. I can remember loving and all of the emotion that went with it, but I can't comprehend it, or imagine ever loving again. And I don't mean in the classic "I will never love again, for I have had my one true love" sense. I just . . . .don't think there's anything left in my heart to love.

Not that I feel dead inside, even though, to a degree, I do. It's like a forest fire ripped through my very core over this past year. The combination of everything has me wishing I could swear off trusting anyone ever again. If I don't want to deal with my own mother, what makes me think I could love anyone?

Haaaaa. *sigh* I should go to bed. I'm exhausted. What's it like to not be exhausted?